I'd Give Anything for a Klondike Bar

Tuesday evening a missional community group from Mosaic came over to put on a “big Tuesday” event for the kids at our apartment complex. There were kids eating hot dogs with chips, kids drinking lemonaid, kids hoo-la-hooping… but most of all, there were dozens of kids swimming in the greenish yellow ppool. It must have been the Holy Spirit that gave me the guts to immerse myself in the questionably mirky waters, and I ran up to our apartment to change into my trunks & was back in a flash to begin my new-found ministry of turning wet ppool kids into human rockets.

For as long as I live, I’ll never forget the first sounds of those moments.... “Are YOU gonna swim with us!?” “Watch out! He’s coming in!” SPLOOSH! I snagged my first victim and up and over he went, squalling with a boisterous mixture of fear and delight. A small child on two floaty-noodles paddled up to me, screaming, “White man, White man! Throw Me White Man!!!” [Note: I am one out of no more than four caucasian men presently living at Chateau, so it makes sense that the lad identified me as such & I admire his keen sense of integrity in not mincing words.] I quickly established two things with young Jayden. 1. I don’t throw screamers, so you’d better lower your voice a bit, young friend; and 2. You can call me Mr. Joseph.

“Mr. Jophus, Mr. Jophus, Throw me!!!” “Sure, buddy. Here ya go.” Up & over & Whoopthsh! “Again, Again white ma… er, Mr. Jophus!”
And that is how it went for quite some time. And then out of nowhere, I remembered something from an all guys' float trip last week. Before jumping off a bridge into the river, one of our friends, Bub, dared Mark to shout out the words to a Klondike Bar commercial “I’d do anything for a Klondike bar!" and then jump in. For whatever reason, that influence Bub demonstrated over Mark was hilarious, and I knew I had to give it a try.

Within minutes, a new tradition had begun at the Chateau apartments for all the denizens there in. “Hey Jayden,” I said, “this time I’m gonna hold you up & I want you to shout "I'd do anything for a Klondike Bar, and THEN I’ll rocket you into the pool, ok?” It was amazing! The adults, watching from dryer ground got just as much a kick out of it as the kids did. There was “Gimme a break… break me off a piece of that kitkat bar!” Splash!! followed by “superman will save your life!” Sploosh! , and then, "Da da da da da, I’m Lovin’ It’" Wazammy! followed by “na na na na na na na na batman!” and the ever popular, “Comcast, We Deliver!” Whoosh!

I do believe we went through a dozen commercials that evening.

I can't wait to come up with more.